The coach at the end of every practice scores your conversation against a simple, well-tested structure. It works because it separates what happened from what you think of the person.
Anchor the conversation to a specific time and place. “In yesterday’s client call…” — not “You always…”. Specific situations can be discussed; “always” can only be argued with.
Describe what the person actually did or said — observable, filmable facts. “You interrupted Farah three times” is behaviour. “You were disrespectful” is a verdict, and verdicts trigger defence.
Say what the behaviour caused — for the work, the team or you. Impact is where the person discovers a reason to change that is not simply “because the boss said so”.
After Situation–Behaviour–Impact, ask a real question and listen. The goal of a difficult conversation is not to deliver a speech. It is to start a joint repair.